Oxymoron Unlimited

Systems Solutions for PCs and Compatibles

Let Oxymoron Systems be your Dedicated Help Desk - No Contract Necessary


[Latest Update:  Sunday, May 04, 2014]


Open for Business


May 23, 2014

These are some of the benefits of having Oxymoron Unlimited Systems as your dedicated computer experts:

  • We provide our services to large companies, small companies, and to individuals or home users.

  • You are not required to sign a contract.

  • Our prices are reasonable.

  • When we're not in the office we can provide assistance remotely, or we can make house calls!

  • We understand how overwhelming it can be to deal with a personal computer, be it a desktop or a laptop.

  • Our company was established in 1987.

  • Take a long look at our resume, as there is a link about half way down this page for you to click.

So why did we call our company Oxymoron Unlimited?  Because the term "personal computer" is an Oxymoron.  Clearly, there is nothing personal about a computer!

Unlike many consulting firms, we speak plain, non-technical English.  We don't try to impress you with how much we know, by talking "Tech Talk."  You can actually understand what we're saying, as well as how we're going to help you. 

For a list of our clients, please click on the info link, below, and we'll send you, via email, a list of our satisfied clients.

Why Hire Oxymoron?

Here is just one example:

We were contracted by one of the world's largest accounting firms, based in New York City,  to design, then manage and staff a critical project.  The goal was to remove all non-licensed software from their accountants' two thousand desktops and laptops.  The split was about even, one thousand each, desktop and laptop.  The reason was simple:  any unlicensed software constituted a federal violation of copyright laws.  No license = violation of the law.  An accounting firm must show the highest level of ethics and honesty, as an example to their own clients.

We spent three weeks designing and testing the project on computers we were given for this purpose.  As we were getting set up to run the project, two separate groups within the accounting firm made predictions. (We never did learn if they had an office pool.)  The first group, the Help Desk, speculated that it would take us thirteen months to complete the project.  The second group, more of a project-oriented group, predicted it would take us seventeen months.

We disagreed with both of those assessments, and told the firm that we would require no more than six months to complete the project.

We completed the project in four months!

Along the way, we gained a reputation as "those geeks on the fourteenth floor."  Their employees started calling us for help.  When they did, we directed them to the Help Desk.  When they returned, they explained that the Help Desk was backlogged, and had told them they would not get assistance for two or three days.  Naturally, they were impatient.  So, we started provided support, as time allowed, to those associates and accountants who needed immediate assistance.

However, we still were able to complete the project in record time.

Now it's your turn!  Call us to see how we can help your company save money and tighten up operations!  We can help you find holes in manual systems, as well as upgrade and fine tune your computer-based systems.  We will create a project plan to resolve all issues in a timely fashion.  And finally, we will complete your project, on time, and within your budget.

The deal we make with all clients, new or existing, is we will meet with you, discuss your situation on the phone, or web conference, and spend time learning about your situation, for no charge.  Even if it take an hour.  Then, we will draw up a plan, and verbally advise - in general terms - how we would approach your systems needs.

We good at what we do!  Because we love what we do!



Services offered by Oxymoron Unlimited:

Web Site Design, Management, and Hosting

Systems Analysis & Project Management

Network Administration and Supervision

Systems Management consulting

TV and Film accuracy consultations

Help Desk Analysis and Supervision

We support clients in Manhattan and Northern New Jersey:  Hudson, Passaic, and Bergen Counties.

For information, please contact us by e-mail, by phone, or by fax.

Email:  ahoward@oxymoron.org

Phone:  201-868-7681

Fax:  201-854-2990

Here is an error people have gotten, when using Windows 8 Professional, as an upgrade to an earlier version of Windows.  We are awaiting a response from the Microsoft Support people and will post it as soon as it arrives:

Note that the same error is displayed when using Windows 8's Version of Internet Explorer 10.  Here is the IE version:

The links below are for companies or services we have tried, or have used for more than one year.  We have not gotten anything in return.  But we have positive experiences with them and recommend them highly.


You are visitor number:


One thing you should know about the products you see advertised on our site.  We use them ourselves; if we did not, we would not recommend them.  But the most important thing you should know is that we do not benefit - at all - from advertising these products.  With one exception:  if you are a client, and you are using one of these products, we have a head start to do maintenance or repairs on your systems.

 Oxymoron Unlimited Systems is Listed On "The Jersey Business List"

Tired of getting phone calls from everybody with a plan-to-scam?  Now, you can fight back against those persons and companies who violate the

Federal "Do Not Call" Law.

Click the link, above.

Please note:  The Humor Mill has moved to a new home.  Please, click on the link below, then bookmark it for the future:


Visit a site we manage!  Come learn about a legendary 60s Drummer and Actor: Hash Howard.

No!  We're not the Knights Who Say Ni!

This refrain is to remind you that you can do something about all that spam you get in your email.

Please ... click on the spam banner above, and go to Firetrust, where you can get Mailwasher.

We have used Mailwasher for many years; we also install it for our clients.  It works extremely well, not allowing spam into the in-box.

Once it is in your in-box, you must then train your system to reject spam.  Why should you let spam in, in the first place?

Mailwasher won't.

A separate application, you train Mailwasher to recognize good email and bad, then send the bad stuff away.  Only then do you open up your in-box!

Mailwasher has the capability to import "blacklist" email addresses, or domains, and use third-party lists, to help reject the bad stuff, even allowing you to set your version of Mailwasher to automatically delete the garbage.

Try it - it's refreshingly different! 

If you are local - Hudson or Bergen Counties, New Jersey or New York City - visit Grasshopper Salon and Spa on the Internet, then book an appointment for a super experience, getting your hair done, antique clothes, a massage, a make-over ...


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